The thing about time

Here's the thing about time. It refuses to slow down. And nothing makes me more acutely aware of its relentless momentum than a day like today.

Because on this day my kids went back to school, I've been married for twenty years, and I finished my next manuscript. 

First, let's address the anniversary. Twenty years of marriage? Seriously? Isn't that for, like, mature people? Only yesterday, we were fresh-faced newlyweds arguing over how to load the dishwasher and somehow it's two decades, three kids, two dogs, two cats and a revolving door of fish later. Not to mention that as of today we have only middle and high school kids who have morphed into their own little humans with goals and plans and passions that don't (and shouldn't, I know, I know) include living with mom and dad for the rest of their lives.  

We are on fast forward to the empty nest part and while it's natural and inevitable and exactly what we've been working toward since giving birth, it's still hard. It's still heartbreaking. And it's all part of the journey. 

But it doesn't make it easier to watch the sand gleefully slide down the hourglass while I try to hold on to every precious moment, even those that include eye rolls and sighs, and especially those tender moments that make it all worth it.  

On top of it all, I finished my next manuscript and while this doesn't seem to compare to marriage and kids, in a way it does. Because while for a big part of my life I have happily identified as being a wife and mother, this part, this writing and creating and losing myself in characters and stories, this has given the passing of time a different meaning. 

No, I can't stop time because I'm a writer. Time is an indifferent beast that doesn't care what it leaves behind. But it is also a gift to experience its passing and for me, it's a vast landscape where I get to create stories. Stories I hope will provide an escape to a place where the seconds move a little slower, if only for a little while. 

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